It’s not the sort of thing you want to see at the breakfast table. Anyone leafing through the pages of The Daily Record this morning will have noticed some unusual off-field activities during the Edinburgh derby.
Already trailing Hearts by two first half goals, Hibs fans were confronted with utter humiliation when their opponents were awarded a penalty. But rather than accepting the loss sitting down, one Hibee got to his feet for the good of his team.
Paul Hartley scored from the spot, but it seems that the culprit’s efforts were not entirely in vain. Hartley’s agent confirmed that the player had spotted the offending item behind the net, even if it wasn’t enough to put him off. So, maybe there’s some merit in the plan after all. Perhaps a little tinkering is all that’s required. Mass participation could produce the desired result… something to think about, eh?
On Thursday afternoon, Cádiz CF issued a press release which should serve to remind us all that football is completely divorced from reality.
Croatian striker Nenad Milosavljević has been a Cádiz player for a little over a year. Although the Spanish press initially referred to him by his tongue-twisting surname, hacks quickly discovered that this didn’t make for particularly snappy headlines.
So, out of a necessity for catchy copy, Milosavljević was the subject of a rebranding exercise. Unfortunately for the Croat, this was based on his likeness to Mortadelo, the lanky secret agent from the Mortadelo y Filemón comic books.
Mortadelo may not have Batman’s physique, Asterix’s quick wit or Superman’s powers, but he is well-loved in Spain. Milosavljević had arrived as a footballer: he had his own nickname and there was no malicious intent behind it. All of which only makes the press release even harder to explain.
In a rather surly communication to the nation’s media, Cádiz insisted that Milosavljević should never be referred to as Mortadelo again. This laughable demand was made all the worse by the club’s attempt to reason its case with logic, stating that Mortadelo “…in no way resembles the character and personality of our player”.
The press may decide to exercise a little discretion, but it’s unlikely that supporters will be so obliging. Milosavljević can expect to be serenaded from the stands until he leaves Spain.
José Mourinho doesn’t adjust to defeat very well. The Chelsea manager is, however, an accomplished author of excuses. After the London club lost to Real Betis by a single goal in November’s Champions League match, Mourinho claimed that “the ballboys disappeared” as the final whistle approached. Foreigners add such creativity to the British game.
Although it seemed fanciful at the time, recent events seem to confirm that this was not a case of post-match paranoia.
On Saturday evening, Atlético de Madrid encountered a similar problem as they trailed Betis 1-0. With time ticking away, the Betis ballboys seemed increasingly uninterested in fetching and carrying for the players from the capital. This sideline strike action was allegedly carried out on the instructions of club officials.
As the game entered injury time, referee Miguel Ángel Ayza Gómez decided that he had seen enough. All fourteen Andalusian urchins were sent packing with a flash of the red card. Obviously this was labour intensive compared to simply adding time onto the clock, but infinitely more enjoyable for the man in black.
A resurgent Arsenal side slaughtered Middlesbrough 7-0 on Saturday afternoon; Thierry Henry was the man with the bolt gun. The French striker scored a handsome hat-trick, but the beauty of his performance was in the detail, and two moments of breathtaking skill.
In the first half, Boro’s Frank Queudrue was hypnotised with a balletic spin. The entranced defender was unable to offer even the slightest hint of a tackle as Henry wheeled over the ball. Three goals later, bored with his favourite wheeze and simply winning the game, Henry decided to entertain.
If this disguised pass doesn’t leave you grinning from ear to ear, shred up your season book and have a little bonfire in your Sky dish. Maybe it’s time to take up tennis.
Paul Hartley scored from the spot, but it seems that the culprit’s efforts were not entirely in vain. Hartley’s agent confirmed that the player had spotted the offending item behind the net, even if it wasn’t enough to put him off. So, maybe there’s some merit in the plan after all. Perhaps a little tinkering is all that’s required. Mass participation could produce the desired result… something to think about, eh?
José Mourinho doesn’t adjust to defeat very well. The