Garrincha’s Dog

On Thursday afternoon, Cádiz CF issued a press release which should serve to remind us all that football is completely divorced from reality.

Croatian striker Nenad Milosavljević has been a Cádiz player for a little over a year. Although the Spanish press initially referred to him by his tongue-twisting surname, hacks quickly discovered that this didn’t make for particularly snappy headlines.

So, out of a necessity for catchy copy, Milosavljević was the subject of a rebranding exercise. Unfortunately for the Croat, this was based on his likeness to Mortadelo, the lanky secret agent from the Mortadelo y Filemón comic books.

Mortadelo may not have Batman’s physique, Asterix’s quick wit or Superman’s powers, but he is well-loved in Spain. Milosavljević had arrived as a footballer: he had his own nickname and there was no malicious intent behind it. All of which only makes the press release even harder to explain.

In a rather surly communication to the nation’s media, Cádiz insisted that Milosavljević should never be referred to as Mortadelo again. This laughable demand was made all the worse by the club’s attempt to reason its case with logic, stating that Mortadelo “…in no way resembles the character and personality of our player”.

The press may decide to exercise a little discretion, but it’s unlikely that supporters will be so obliging. Milosavljević can expect to be serenaded from the stands until he leaves Spain.